This foundation or process is called "learning how to grow up" versus just being "grown".
Grown-ness or the essence of being grown just translates to being independent or self-sufficient/supported. As the Beyoncé song goes "I'm a grown woman, I can do whatever I like" simply means that you can do what you will with no room for improvement, no growth, no construction criticism, no accountability, and no responsibility. Exceptional, you are nothing more than a child that pays bills, owns/rents your own home, and has a car.
You are a self-sufficient yet mentally immature individual. And the age of "independence" or being one own boss does nothing but breed a new generation of grown "child-minded" adults. I would know because I am one myself.
I'm going, to be honest with you, once I turned 18 (like everyone else in the world) I was grown. Got my car -grown, had my apartment -grown, had my little credit card bills to pay -grown, even had a job or two -grown. As a society, we equate materialistic things or experiences, or milestones as the central foundation of adulthood. "You're not grown unless you have this..." And we live by that motto, even our parents have told us at some point in our young lives those exact words followed by house, car, job, or bills.
And I'm not blaming our parents because even our parents were once told the same thing. It is the society that is the blame for this, society was meant to raise generations after generations of workers (grown workers) and not mature-thinking adults.
I might step on some toes with this one...
But critical or independent thinkers are glorified workers that are taught to think critically only for their work. Mature thinkers are individuals who have wisdom and whose purpose is to serve God's purpose.
Allow me to explain in layman's terms, a mature person is someone who is growing up (we are all still growing, even in old age). Meaning, we still have more room to learn and receive from others. A grown/independent person will think that they know everything and don't need any advice, lesson, or constructive criticism. A growing-up/mature person will acknowledge their faults and correct them. A grown/independent person will deny, deny, deny and fight against accountability and will never take responsibility unless they think they might benefit from it.
A mature person might set boundaries and communicate to assure that they are not misunderstood when trying to resolve conflicts. An independent person will rely on their behavior and words (attitudes and such) to get their point across. Mature people will always humble themselves and be submissive to God's authority. Independent people will boast greatly about themselves and remain independent in all aspects of their lives.
A mature person will selflessly do things for others to please God and an independent person will selfishly do things to please their fellow man.
As an adult, we all need to learn how to grow up and reject the world's idea of being grown or little miss/mister independent. Growing up will allow you to handle those tough situations maturely and resolve issues smoothly. Even your disagreement with others will seem better, because you won't have to be passive-aggressive, give silent treatments, or have full meltdowns or tantrums in an argument.
I was once that attitude-y, no accountability, no responsibility, poor communication, not receiving constructive criticism/feedback, know-it-all grown woman. Despite having "adult" things or reaching adult milestones, I still felt like a little kid that was not taken seriously (or as we like to call it... misunderstood).
Brethren, ask God to remove the stain of grown-ness and the spirit of independent-ness from your life and allow you to humbly "grow up!"
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